Perfect Now
by Modern-English
Summary: Happiness lives in a remote campsite in Oregon. AngstFluff. Viz, LoVe. Update: FINISHED.
1. Lena Piznarski

_A/N: Another attempt at Viz. Someone's gotta write the stuff that no one wants to write…and perhaps read._

Warnings:  
Mainly Fluff/Angst…Best combo and EXACTLY like a soap opera.

Things to know:  
This fic is way too ambitious. Holy Jeebuzz.  
Logan and Veronica are kaput; Freshman year is over, so it's summertime; Consider everything up until ep. 3.15 (Papa's Cabin) with the new relationship developments; Piz isn't hiding anything…he's really just a genuine good guy; And **_everything in italics is a memory…

* * *

_**

**Perfect Now  
By: Modern-English**

Veronica stirred in bed, shifting between the soft cotton that surrounded her. It was morning already. She could feel the warm sun putting her in a spotlight. The light tried persuading her eyes to open, bright red and orange mingling behind her closed eyelids. She frowned and mumbled something about being too close to the window as she buried her face into her pillow, hoping she could be ignorant and fall back to sleep. No luck. Restless, she turned on her side and inhaled deeply. The air around her smelled like pine and spice. She exhaled and smiled because she remembered where she was. One eye fluttered open to see the top of Piz's messy head of hair.

She decided to move closer to the boy sleeping next to her so she could whisper, "Hey, sleepy head."

Piz turned his face into his pillow and replied with a smothered 'go back to sleep'. Though the comment sounded indifferent, the corners of his mouth could be seen curling upwards. He was rarely discreet about his feelings.

It was the same every morning. She would wake up to the rising sun, the chirping of birds outside, and the familiar scent of the Piznarski summer cottage. It would be too much to say that she had gotten used to this routine. Usually, she would wake up to the honking of a car horn and the passing traffic before her alarm clock would start blaring its buzzer, calling her to get ready for school. Everything back home seemed to be bound by a clock, a schedule, a favour asked, a job, an assignment, a final exam. Responsibilities that drained her more than she thought they could. But, here, a remote campsite outside of Beaverton, time seemed to be the least of her worries. She left bed when it was dark, hiked aimlessly around the grounds, and swam and relaxed under the sun longer than she had ever done before. If she knew that she'd be doing this, months before, she wouldn't have believed it herself.

"I was thinking." Piz finally turned to face her, placing a hand on the piece of blanket swathed over her shoulder. "My pancakes. Blueberry this time. My mom's strawberry short cake. We only finished about half of that last night. Your snicker doodles. But, I'm not so sure that I'll be sharing. So, really, mine—"

Veronica pulled his face towards her and closed his mouth with a kiss. Sometimes, it was the only cure for his seemingly incurable overflowing mouth. She managed to elicit a soft 'wow' from him when she released him. A small smile spread across her lips over her monosyllabic effect on him.

"What—" Piz started.

"I'm happy." Veronica admitted and sighed.

Piz grinned to hear this and agreed, "Me too."

Veronica was mildly surprised that she confessed something so candid with such ease. But, this wasn't the first time she had done or said something that surprised herself. In fact, she had been surprising herself well before the impromptu trip to Oregon. Of all places.

-

_**A month earlier…**_

"_What are you doing here?" Piz asked, sounding uncharacteristically indifferent. _

_He couldn't seem to keep eye contact for too long. _

"_I left school with every intention of going home. I was driving when I realized that I couldn't do it."_

"_It?" Piz asked, moving around her like she had developed a very contagious disease, his movements looked a bit awkward in the crammed radio station. He seemed to be moving around papers and vinyl covers and CDs and whatever else he could find to organize to avoid focusing his attention towards her._

"_I couldn't let you leave Neptune hating me and I don't want you to come back after the break avoiding me either. I needed to say that I'm sorry." Veronica explained, craning her neck whichever way he was going. _

_Piz scoffed and Veronica felt her stomach twist. "Veronica Mars does not apologize for who she is. She could care less about what other people think of her." Piz finally lifted his head from the box of CDs that he was sifting through to face her. "You don't have to apologize. I should be the one apologizing, really. I should've known better. I was delusional to think that…never mind."_

"_You don't know—"_

"_Sure I do." Piz cut her off, looking annoyed. "I couldn't be happier for the two of you."_

"_It's not like that." Veronica insisted._

"_I saw you two together." Piz said, looking away again. He bent down to grab things. "I have to go." He said. It seemed like her time had been cut short to explain and prove that she didn't fall for or fit the stereotype of being the other half of the 'couple that will always be a couple' with Logan. _

"_I know the difference!" Veronica blurted out as he passed her to get to the door._

_Piz dropped his head, stopping in front of the door and reciting a mantra to keep her out of his head. His feet betrayed him, turning him to face her to hear what she had to stay._

"_I know the difference." She repeated quietly. "I thought I knew when I didn't, but I know now and I want you to know that."_

_Piz sighed heavily. "You know, I knew what I was getting myself into from the very beginning. I knew there was a past, I knew there were secrets and things you couldn't tell me because you thought I wouldn't get it or get you, and I knew it was going to be hard. I knew and I didn't stop myself. But, I didn't know that it was going to be this hard."_

_Veronica remained still as he attempted to close the intimidating space between them, her hands nervously wringing the strap of her messenger bag. When he was close enough, he bent down to kiss her on the cheek and said goodbye. She gulped a lump that formed in her throat and nodded dejectedly as he walked out the door._

_-_

"What are you daydreaming about?" Piz used his fork to poke the air in her direction.

Veronica mentally shook herself and blinked at Piz. "I, uh, was thinking of what colour the bridesmaid dresses were going to be. Pale salmon, don't you think? Yeah? No? I think so. Also, I was thinking that since you don't have any younger brothers or nephews, we should use Backup as the ring bearer. He's very well trained. Oh, and I know whose mother will love the idea of using her backyard gazebo for the ceremony." Veronica said brightly, her eyes wide.

Piz choked on the piece of pancake he was about to swallow. "You're _almost_ funny. Really, you're _almost_ a riot." He said hoarsely after he swallowed his food.

Veronica bit back a smile and attempted a serious tone when she said, "What? Every girl has a fantasy wedding. Mine happens to include a dog with a pillow strapped to its back, carrying the wedding bands. Now, would you like to hear my thoughts on the reception centerpieces?"

Piz shook his head, chuckling under his breath. "I heard your phone beeping from the bedroom when you were in the shower. You might have a missed call." He informed her.

"Oh, that must be my other boyfriend." She said lightly before sipping her orange juice. "I specifically told him not call me while I was here or, at least, while you're around."

"You know, it was funny the first couple of times you told me. We had a good laugh and I even joked about him sneaking into the bedroom while I wasn't looking. But, now it's starting to scare me." He half-joked.

Veronica grinned as she got up to peck him on the cheek. "He probably just texted me something dirty." She said and headed towards the bedroom.

Veronica slowly sat on the edge of the bed, staring intently at her cell phone's screen. The glowing text on the screen indicated that Logan called. Again. She had been getting calls from her father, Wallace, and Mac asking her benign questions about Oregon and Piz. But, out of all the calls, Logan managed to flood her incoming calls list and voicemail inbox the most. She was tempted to turn the damn thing off when it became incessant, but she knew that it would mean everyone else was blocked from reaching her.

"Hey." Piz entered the room. "Something wrong?"

Veronica shook her head, smiling, "No. Someone just keeps getting the wrong number." She said.

-

_**A month earlier…**_

"_There's always going to be this between us, isn't there?" Logan asked, resting his forehead against Veronica's. _

"_Yeah." Veronica agreed, lightly touching her lips with her fingers. "But—"_

"_I know that you think that I make a lot of mistakes and that I need to be a different person for you to want me again. I get it, I really do. So, if you let me, I will be whoever you want me to be." Logan said, holding her face in his hands. "I miss you, Veronica."_

"_Logan—"_

"_Whoever you want me to be." Logan repeated, determined._

_Veronica looked down, inhaling deeply. "I can't keep waiting." She said quietly._

_Logan lifted her chin up so he could see her eyes. "What do you mean? You don't have to anymore. I'm right here—"_

"_I mean," She interrupted him, biting her bottom lip. "I can't keep waiting for you to screw up again. If we ever—"_

_Logan watched her swallow a dry sob, his stomach filling with knots. She looked down and then up again, her eyes red and glazed over. _

"_If we ever got back together, I'd forgive you for everything…because, it's you. I know that you'll try to change and we'd be in this perfect bubble of a relationship. No lies, no secrets, and we'd happy. But, there's this annoying, neurotic thing about me that will never go away no matter how hard I'll try to ignore it…I do not forget. For every happy moment, I'd remember something you did to break us up. Even worse, I'd keep waiting for you to do something new, something that'll drive us even farther apart. I can't keep waiting for you to screw up again, Logan." Veronica tried to explain, biting her tears back and failing. "I can't."_

_Logan dropped his hands from her face, pocketing them. "There's nothing I can do to…"_

"_No." Veronica deadpanned, shaking her head. _

_Logan could see her balled up fists shaking at her sides. He stepped closer when she stepped backwards. He stopped when he could dip his head near hers and kissed her. She let him. _

"_There's always going to be this between us." Logan said before leaving her standing quite still in the middle of the student parking lot. _

-

"How is this organized?" Veronica asked, searching through his CD collection.

"It is." Piz assured her. "It's sorted by significance."

"Hm." She nodded. "So, inquiring minds would like to know…" She let a finger hover over his music for a moment and then randomly selected a CD. "What is the significance of Al Green?"

"Ah," Piz grinned widely. "Next to Beach Boys, right?"

Veronica nodded slowly. "So…"

"Here, I'll show you." Piz said.

He took the CD from her and got up, shaking his sleepy legs from sitting cross-legged too long before he moved. He reached his stereo and popped in the CD. A smooth beat filled the room as Piz whirled around, singing and dancing. Veronica covered her ears, mocking pain. He jumped to her side and brought her up to her feet, twirling her as he continued to sing and dance.

"Loving you whether…" Piz sang. "Whether times are good or bad or happy or sad…" He dipped her, causing her to burst into a fit of laughter. She sounded so bright, he admired.

They didn't reach the second chorus when the song came to a sudden halt.

"I swear," Said the cause of the interruption. "All the men in our family are tone deaf."

Piz and Veronica turned to see an older woman in a large sun hat and bright yellow poncho standing in the middle of the living room. She looked curiously between the two of them.

"Mom?" Piz said surprised.

"Well, don't come greeting me all at once now." Lena Piznarski rested her hands over her hips.

Piz went over to her to give her a hug, but Lena moved passed him to meet Veronica.

"Hi, Mrs. Piznarski." Veronica said as Lena hugged her. She almost forgot how friendly and familiar she could be. She remembered meeting her for the first time and receiving the same warm greeting, regardless of what Veronica felt was an unannounced and intrusive entrance into her household.

"It's Lena." She said, shaking her head. "Call me Lena. I sound old when you call me that."

Lena pushed Veronica away, holding her by the arms. She looked puzzled when she said, "I still don't understand how you snagged such a pretty one." She turned to her son, waiting for an explanation. She let out a boisterous laugh when he shrugged. "Come here." She called him with her arms outstretched.

Piz kissed her on the cheek before he queried, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh," Lena exaggerated a sigh. "It's such late notice, but I guess I could stay for dinner just because you're insisting. Really, your hospitality amazes me, Stosh."

Piz winced at the use of his first name. "Mom…"

"Oh, don't get your briefs in a knot." Lena said and waved her hand feverishly so that her multi-coloured bangles jangled noisily. "I'm just here to drop off another care package. All your essentials: cake, cookies, and paczkis with extra filling."

"Mom, you're killing me." Piz grinned excitedly. "Thanks."

"You need a haircut." Lena said, pulling at Piz's locks. "You look messy." She said with distaste.

"She likes my hair." Piz gestured towards Veronica.

"She's your girlfriend, honey, it's her job to tell you a _lot_ of things." Lena said with a sympathetic smile, cupping the side of his face.

"Here." She handed him a plastic bag. "These will last until next week. I'll be back with more."

"Mom, you don't have to—"

"Op! I don't want to hear it!" She raised an index finger to him. "I happen to like visiting my only son who left me all alone at home to rot for the whole summer." She said, smiling teasingly. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she read the clock she saw beyond her son. "Oh, shoot, I have to go if I want to make it for my six o'clock spinning class."

"I thought you wanted to stay for dinner. We have plenty of food." Piz said.

"Yeah, we'd love for you to stay, Mrs.—er—Lena." Veronica joined Piz's side.

"I just like being invited." She smiled amusedly, winking at the pair of them as they gave her confused stares. "Gotta run, kids." She said, pulling Piz into one last hug. "Throw the cake into the fridge, wont you?" She pointed Piz in direction of the kitchen and then turned to Veronica. "Walk me to the door?" She asked, looping her arm around Veronica's.

"You're something else." Lena whispered to Veronica when Piz left the room.

Veronica didn't know what to say but, "Oh."

"You should have seen the look on his face when he came home with you." She told her. "It was like he had never been more proud or happy about anything else. Now, that's definitely saying something, hun, believe me. You're something else, Veronica Mars."

Veronica nodded, smiling. "Thank you." She said.

Lena looked over her shoulder when they reached the front door and her voice grew softer when she said, "If you don't get to him now, he'll eat all the paczkis."

_**To Be Continued…**_


	2. The Truth

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews and the kind words. You guys are uber-sweet :D!

Things to know:

In the last flashback, Piz broke up with Veronica after seeing her kiss Logan; Still summertime (Around Late-Jun to July); Presently, Veronica and Piz are together; Veronica's been getting incessant calls from Logan, but Piz does not know about them; **_flashbacks in italics…again._**

_If I'm not watching soaps, I find that I'm writing for one…

* * *

****__  
The first surprise… _

"_You're something else, Veronica Mars." Piz proclaimed after thanking her for another favour fulfilled._

"_Not too shabby for a cartoon, huh?" Veronica quipped. _

"_Wallace." Piz said, embarrassed. _

_Veronica raised a dubious brow. "BFF?" She said. "You oughtta know by now what dirt is exchanged between us."_

"_I should really stop talking about you." Piz said without thinking. "I mean, you know, around Wallace." He tried covering._

_Veronica always knew. However, it was the act of acknowledging and accepting it that didn't seem to surface in her brain yet. It was something that wasn't as evident until she got back together with Logan and saw how he reacted to the news. She assumed the encounter didn't faze him too much since he finally came around with his enthused stories of his radio show and up and coming musical acts a week or two later. In fact, when she had broken up with Logan again she found herself growing accustomed to his seemingly endless cheer and story-telling when they sometimes met up for breakfast or dinner. Still, as of yet, no overwhelming, music-swelling moments of epiphany had interrupted her._

_  
"Well, you scratched my back and now I scratched yours. We're even." Veronica said. "Until the day I need that mountain man charm of yours."_

_Piz chuckled lightly and then sobered. "Listen, I liked spending time together. It's been…fun." He told her._

_Fun. That's exactly how Veronica would describe it. She wondered how long it had been since she had used that word to describe a case or a favour or something that included the ability to dig for answers or secrets. Complicated, frustrating, disappointing, frightening. These words would be more accurate of the results she usually found in the end. Fun was rare._

"_It has been." Veronica agreed, but then gave him a weak smile. "But, it sounds like it won't be anymore when you say it like that." She said._

"_I just meant…" Piz paused. "It may not be once I get this off my chest."_

"_This?" Veronica wondered._

"_I—" He began._

"_You're bleeding!" Veronica exclaimed and pointed at his face. _

"_What?" Piz said. When he touched his face he felt something damp over his cheekbone._

_Veronica pushed him into a chair and began rummaging through her bag. "Here." She smiled triumphantly, brandishing a small box labelled with a red cross insignia in front of his face. She pulled out an alcohol swab and warned him, "It'll sting, but it'll do the trick."_

"_You carry a first aid kit in your bag?" Piz looked up at her with an amused grin._

"_Of course." Veronica replied seriously. "A girl's gotta be prepared. It's always stashed next to my taser and my favourite strawberry-flavoured lip gloss."_

_She pulled up a seat in front of him and gestured him to lean towards her. She reached for him when he was near enough, holding his face still and close. His eyes were blue, she observed. She had never noticed before._

"_The next time I ask for a favour, I'll let you handle the angry bikers." Piz winced as she dabbed the swab over his cheek. _

"_You did great." Veronica commended. "You know, the ladies love scars. You can regale them with your daring, chivalrous story too. Believe me, by the end of this semester, your shady points are going to go through the roof. Just remember to credit me as the turning point in your life when they ask, okay?"_

"_By daring, do you mean mistaking one of the PCHers as the culprit and getting punched in the face by the real one, and by chivalrous, do you mean Backup doing most of the threatening?" Piz said morosely. _

"_I'm surprised you even stood up to the PCHers. Not a lot of the people around here would dare to do the same." Veronica said as she placed a bandage over his cleaned scar. "I was impressed."_

"_You forget. I'm not from around here." Piz pointed out._

_Veronica shrugged. "Still." She said._

_Piz grabbed her hand while it was still smoothing the bandage over his cheek. "I think you got it." He said, smiling. She smiled too, because his smiles were contagious that way. She didn't know why, but she felt nervous just then. She quickly retrieved her hand, looked away, and busied herself by pushing the contents of her kit flat._

"_Do you ever get tired of it?" He asked, curious. "I mean, as glamourous as a pastime of lurking behind people's backs and carrying around a taser seems, does solving crime ever lose its charm?"_

_It seemed as though he was the only one asking these questions, prodding her to answer things that she wasn't completely sure of herself. Without really reflecting, she said, "A lot of times, yeah, it is tiring. But, what can I do? I can't stop any more than anyone can stop asking me for a favour or to find answers or to right some wrong or—"_

"_You could take a breather once in a while." He advised, knowing this was easier said than done in her case, but thought it couldn't hurt to mention it anyways. _

"_I could." She nodded, still not making eye contact as she fiddled with the latch that closed her kit._

_Piz needed something to say. It had grown quiet and he hated moments like these, moments when he had nothing to say. _

"_When things get frustrating, I drive up to my family's cottage. I go up there with my mom sometimes too. When I'm there, I forget about everything, all the things that got me worked up in the first place, and I just forget about it all. All the stuff that's irrelevant." He tried to explain. "It's quiet up there. It's nice."_

"_Sounds wonderful." She told him, a small sigh escaping her, her eyes still fixed on her kit sitting in her lap._

"_Veronica." He tried to get her to raise her eyes._

"_Yeah." She replied, looking up._

"_You're going to be okay. It's going to be okay." Piz said, grinning. He had a tendency be this way, optimistic and hopeful. She often wondered what that would feel like again. She envied him for it._

_It was time to leave and Piz cursed the clock. He didn't know what he was waiting for. A sign. The right time. An empty room where they were completely alone, her attention undivided. Just as he closed the radio station they had been occupying for the past hour, he turned around to see Veronica looking conflicted. He wanted to ask her what she was thinking, but thought better of it, giving her time to collect her thoughts. When she looked up at him, he barely processed what happened next. She leaned up against him and kissed him on the mouth. It was soft, it was satisfying, and it made him feel like he was teetering off the edge of something very high._

"_What were you going to tell me before?" Veronica thought to ask as they broke apart._

"_You beat me to it, actually." Piz grinned sheepishly. "But, I always thought it was obvious. I mean, I meant to say something sometime. But, I didn't know if I had to wait or give you time or—"_

"_Piz." Veronica stared at him. "Are you trying to talk your way out of kissing me again?"_

_He smiled coyly. A few slow, tentative movements later, his hands finding a comfortable place around her hips, he dipped his head near hers and kissed her. He could feel her smiling on his lips. _

-

For Veronica, there was more meaning in the static that she heard in the phone line than anyone else could tell. Silence meant that he was elaborating on something important.

"This is new." The static cleared when he decided to speak.

"Stop calling." She replied without hesitation.

"You know what I mean." He ignored her. "This calling and _answering_ thing we have going on. It's new. Usually, I have the pleasure of hearing your pre-recorded voice directing me to your voicemail instead."

"I've made up my mind and I'm not changing it, Logan." She ignored him too. "So, please, stop."

"I've been thinking about doing that." He admitted. She heard more static and then his heavy sigh.

"I'm going to hang up." She warned him.

"Don't." He said quickly as the static cleared again.

"Logan—"

"You left without a saying a word." He interrupted her. "You can't expect me to just forget, Veronica."

"I don't need to explain myself to you." She said, indignant. "You, of all people, should understand why I did what I did."

"You're acting like you're the victim in all of this." He said, surprised.

"I never should have come to you that night." She said curtly.

"But you did." He said.

"Stop it." She replied, exasperated.

"You could have stayed in Neptune. We could have talked about it and things would have worked out. You didn't have to leave without warning to go camping in the middle of nowhere to _find_ yourself or whatever you're doing up there." He said, sounding frustrated.

"I'm happy here." She told him.

Logan sighed as the static returned. "Then what are you doing picking up the phone for me?" He asked.

"To tell you to stop calling me. You need to stop." She said, almost pleadingly.

"You know that wouldn't change a thing." He replied, solemnly.

She almost dropped her phone when she heard the front door swing open behind her. She was all alone on the cottage porch, hoping the phone call would only last a few minutes, before Piz found her. She didn't turn around when he called her name. She closed her phone shut and swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat.

"Hey, is everything okay?" He asked, joining her side. "It's late and it's cold out here. You should come inside."

She didn't answer him at first, her back still facing him. So, he touched her shoulder, trying to get her to turn his way. When she did, he could see that she was shaken by something.

"Hey." He said gently, massaging the small of her back. He pulled off the wool blanket that he had wrapped around himself and draped it over her shoulders. "Come on." He said, helping her into the cottage.

They sat across from each on the coach and he remained silent, staring at his clasped hands. She told him the truth. She had to. It wasn't easy to confess since her efforts to bite back her tears frequently stopped her sentences. But, she eventually found her voice and hoped he didn't hate her for it. She told him that she had been with Logan after they broke up, that she was getting calls from Logan that she lied about, and that the call that he had just interrupted was from Logan. Knowing Piz, she expected to tell exactly what was on his mind by observing his face. But, this time, he had a fathomless expression. She felt her heart racing in her ears.

"Please, say something." She said anxiously.

What was he supposed to say? He was still reeling over the facts, images, and possibilities swarming in his head. Was it a moment of weakness? A revelation? A mistake? He was hoping for the latter, but, more importantly, was fuming about turning his back on her for minute after they had broken up so that she could go running back to Logan. He was mad, but what made him madder was the fact that he couldn't hate her for it.

He finally lifted his eyes to look at her. He opened his mouth to speak and she anticipated the worst. He closed his mouth and moved towards her. She felt her eyes welling up with tears as he pulled her into his arms, holding her close.

"I don't—" Veronica began as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You need to go." Piz told her, releasing her and holding the side of her face.

She stared at him, frozen. "I'm happy here." She said, feeling desperate to make this known.

He shook his head. "You need to go back home and figure things out." He said calmly.

"But, we planned this whole summer—"

"All I've been doing, all this time, is hiding you from what you're too scared to face back home." He said, gliding his thumb under her eye to wipe away a tear. "No matter how much I want you here…"

"Please." She bowed her head.

"I want you to go back to Neptune." He told her firmly.

Veronica dropped her shoulders, staring down at her open hands in her lap. "I never wanted to hurt you." She said.

"I set myself up for this the day I laid eyes on you." Piz smiled in spite of the growing tightness he felt in his chest. "So, really, it's all on me."

"I'm going to miss you." She said sadly. She slowly inched her hand towards his and squeezed his index finger.

Piz slowly nodded. Secretly, he wished that she wouldn't have agreed to leave him. So, when she did, he found it almost impossible to swallow the words that would have pleaded her to change her mind. "You're going to be okay. It's going to be okay." He assured her and held her hand.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	3. It's Not a Good Thing, Believe Me

A/N: Again, the reviews are gold. I love the comments and the love. But, I have to warn you guys. If you don't like angst and how depressing this story is getting, I advise you to get use to it. Heh.

Things to know: So, Veronica slept with Logan right after Piz broke up with her and now Piz knows; The following memory takes place a week after Piz broke up with Veronica (_**flashbacks in italics…again**)._

_It's official: I'm a tool for writing this.

* * *

_

_**A month earlier…**_

_I can't get by/lost the drive to try/I can't stand to stay alive without you_

"_Seriously?" Wallace crossed the room to Piz's side just to say this, his arms folded across his chest._

_Piz didn't answer him and continued to pick at the strings of his guitar. It took a few minutes of Wallace's rant about finals and respecting quiet before Piz turned his CD player off. He didn't look up. He went back to his guitar, playing an unmelodious and uncoordinated tune. Wallace turned his back on him, determined to finish his open physics book, only to stop at the wall that divided their room. He sighed, knowing what he was about to do was going against the successful job he was doing of ignoring the 'girly-girl drama' that was surrounding his roommate and best friend all week. _

"_Listen, you want to get out of here?" Wallace said, finding a seat on the edge of Piz's bed. "Thirsty's is open until ten tonight. I could go for some hot wings right about now."_

_Piz finally lifted his eyes and fixed them on Wallace. "I already ate." He said, bored._

_Wallace rolled his eyes and got up to leave, but Piz stopped him. "This isn't what you think it is." He said._

"_Wallowing?" Wallace guessed. "'Cause it looks a lot like wallowing. You got the sappy music, the distracted look on your face, and the complete disregard for people studying in the same room. These are the signs."_

_Piz didn't respond and Wallace was determined to walk away this time._

"_Was I wrong?" Piz blurted out, stopping Wallace from leaving him again.  
_

_Wallace was expecting a conversation about Veronica to come up sooner or later. So, he gathered a few pieces of advice he rehearsed to tell him just in case. "You had your reasons for leaving her." He said, shrugging._

"_I did." Piz said, nodding. "So, why does it feel like I was wrong?"_

"_I can tell you that it's wrong that you haven't told her that you're leaving for home next weekend. But, how can you when you're always in and out of here, taking **convenient **hours at the station and dodging her like the plague?" Wallace said, frowning. "You have to know that you're not the only one that's had it rough. She's been trying."_

_Piz nodded without really agreeing with him._

"_I know Veronica. She's proud, you know. It's something she can't get past most of the time. But, she keeps coming back here, hoping you'd just give her the time of day." Wallace explained. "What's wrong is that you don't get how big that is."_

"_What about Logan?" Piz asked dejectedly. _

"_What about him? Man, this is about you and Veronica. Yeah, he's part of her past and they've got this way about them that seems intimidating, but the fact that she's trying has got to count for something." Wallace said. _

"_I don't know." Piz said, returning his attention towards his guitar again._

"_I hope you'll know before you leave." Wallace said before returning back to his side of the room._

_-_

"_Hey, Veronica." Veronica said as she sat across from Piz. "Oh, hello, Piz. I was hoping I would bump into you, Veronica. Really, Piz? Yeah, I need to tell you that I'm leaving for home tomorrow just because I thought you'd like to know. Oh, and I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you all week."_

_Piz looked up from his lunch, raising a curious brow. Veronica smirked. _

"_Wallace told me." She admitted. "I was wondering when you were going to divulge this trivial piece of info with me." _

"_I…" Piz paused before saying, "It's finals. Between shifts at the station and cramming for—"_

"_You've been preoccupied. Got it." She nodded. She rested her chin in her propped up palm and sighed. _

_She had no idea. He had already made up his mind earlier in the week, after Wallace had talked to him, but he hadn't mustered the nerve to tell her yet. "Do you think we could talk later?" He asked, deciding that he couldn't tell her here or now._

_Veronica's eyes looked brighter when he offered this. "I was hoping you'd ask me sooner than later." She said. "Yeah, of course."  
_

"_I finish a shift at the station around seven tonight, so you could meet me here." He suggested, smiling at her for the first time in a while._

"_Yeah." She nodded, smiling too. "But, I actually have to run. Apparently, it's uncouth to join a lecture twenty minutes after it's started." She said, frowning at her watch._

_Piz watched her leave and, as he called after her to say goodbye to see her still wearing a wide grin, he wondered if she would react just as whole-heartedly to the surprise he had in store for her tonight._

_As Veronica turned the corner that lead to her classroom, Logan appeared, blocking her way. _

"_Logan?" She said._

"_You have a minute?" He asked._

"_Actually—" She started._

"_I broke up with Parker." He said, hardly containing himself. "I told Parker and—"_

"_Wait." She interrupted him, wide-eyed. "You told Parker?" She asked, not quite believing her ears._

"_Everything." He confirmed right away, guiltless._

_She couldn't deal with this news. She was slack-jawed and attempted to move her mouth to say something, but nothing came. Instead, she found her feet stepping backwards. She turned and started to walk away, passing her classroom and moving aimlessly down the hallway._

"_Veronica." He called, following her from behind._

_Veronica abruptly turned around. "No." She said, looking straight into his eyes. "Don't."_

_Logan met her gaze, which would have frightened any other person, with the same determination. "Everything started to make sense after you left the Grand last week." He paused, sighed, and then continued. "I know a lot of times we don't work out the way we both want us to. A lot of it has to do with what we refuse to change: I'm the way I am and you're the way you are. But, somehow, we've always found our way back. After you left that night, I realized how lucky we are to have survived what we put ourselves through. I just think…something's gotta give…and if it comes to down to it, I'll be the first willing to make that happen."_

"_Logan—" _

"_Veronica, I'm saying that this is too important." Logan explained._

_  
He always did this. He always managed to push the right buttons, pull at the significant strings, triggering feelings she always tried to stay clear of feeling—vulnerable and affected. She bit her bottom lip, thinking this would control anything from spilling out her mouth, which would complicate things more than they already were. _

_Regardless of how earnest he seemed, she knew things were different now. Before, when she was faced with a similar situation and a decision that would attempt to bring her closer to Logan, wearing her proverbial heart on her sleeve, she was disappointed in the end. This time, others were involved and, as chance often chose her during the most favourable times, she had just started to sort out feelings she had developed for someone else._

"_Veronica…" He began, moving towards her._

"_Don't." She repeated, stepping backwards._

"_Don't you get it?" He asked. "We have a real chance here."_

_Veronica crossed her arms over her chest. "This is wrong." Was her only reply._

_Logan massaged his forehead. "I don't understand—"_

_Veronica relaxed her tense shoulders and let out a long sigh. "We're careless people." She stated instead of answering him. _

_Logan didn't answer right away, so Veronica continued. "We never stopped to think about the consequences that come out of our being together and how it affects everyone else." She said, looking up at him as if she were waiting for his thoughts._

"_Everyone else—what—we're not careless." He said. _

"_We are." She said, shaking her head, disappointed by his reply. She turned away from him. A gathering desire to walk away again started to build up in her._

"_Hey." He said, grabbing her shoulder to turn her his way. "We made our peace with everyone before it we went too far. Me with Parker and you with Piz... " He said. _

_Veronica's eyes were indecisive, moving between the floor and Logan's eyes._

_He placed the key card that she recently returned to him in her hand. "All that talk about always having **this** between us has to have some sway with you." _

-

_Veronica looked out the car window, her eyes scanning the passing trees and wide open spaces. When she closed her eyes and heard the car engine rumbling, the tires moving over the uneven asphalt below, and an unfamiliar melody filling the air, she knew she was finally escaping. She had helped a friend or two find their solace away from Neptune, but she had never found the pleasure of experiencing it first-hand. So, when she saw the welcome sign greeting her and Piz to Oregon, she felt an overwhelming wave of relief wash over her. _

"_No turning back now." Piz said to her, handling the steering wheel. _

"_I know." Veronica turned to face him, smiling. _

_-_

_And the weight of my mistakes means that everything that I touch breaks/I don't want to see you as the next in line/I can't find forever in your eyes/I should leave you while they're dry_

Veronica didn't wait for Piz to follow her when she entered the bedroom. She stalked towards the closet to her left and began tossing her clothes and belongings on the bed. When she found her suitcase she threw it towards the bed too. Moments later, Piz found his way into the bedroom, but she hadn't noticed. She was busying herself with her pile of dirty clothes she tried separating from Piz's, planning to throw them on top of the accumulating pile of things on the bed. She was in a hurry to pack. After all, he did tell her to leave.

He watched her and her messy attempt at organizing an escape. He stepped forwards, wondering when she would notice him behind her. He reached out to touch her when she suddenly turned around, startled. He still stretched his hand to meet the side of her face, stroking her cheek when he touched her skin. He pulled her towards him and pressed his mouth against hers, kissing her hungrily.

Their lips only parted for short gasps of breath as they made their way to the bed, which was quickly made free of the Veronica's things when Piz hastily pushed them away, their clothes, half of them loosely clinging and hanging off arms and legs, leaving a trail behind them. When she finally pealed away from him, her lips looked pinker and a bit swollen.

"You wanted—you said—to leave." Veronica managed as she tried to catch her breath, hovering over him.

"Not tonight." Piz replied simply, running his fingers through her hair.

She stared at him, wondering what he was thinking. He was so hard to read tonight, so, instead, she was left trusting his word.

"Veronica, I want you." Piz said with his eyes fixed intently on her.

Veronica didn't know if he was in denial or if she was. It didn't matter if they were to stay together tonight. In the morning, she'd be gone. But, maybe, that was the point. Maybe, the fact that she would be leaving the very next day was the reason why it made perfect sense to be together now. So, when he brought her down to kiss her lips, she gave in, her visceral doubts and sorrows forgotten for, at least, tonight.

-

The moonlight reflected off the skin of his face and all over his front, making him glow white and pale blue. He looked peaceful and handsome this way, with his eyes closed and his bare chest rising and falling to his slow, rhythmic breaths. She couldn't fall asleep like he had an hour ago, so she watched him for a while. Eventually, she slipped out of bed and found one his big shirts lying on the floor to clothe her. She found her way, blindly, trailing her hands over the walls to her right, to the kitchen. She stuck her head into the fridge, looking for something to eat. She wasn't hungry. She took a glass from a nearby cupboard, took a pitcher from the fridge, and filled it with water. Sitting on the kitchen counter, she stared into her glass. She wasn't thirsty.

"Trouble sleeping?" Piz asked from the kitchen entrance.

Veronica looked up from her glass to see him rubbing his eyes and then pocketing his hands in his pyjama pants. She nodded and put her full glass of water next to her on the counter. He joined her, sitting next to her and her glass.

They sat in silence for a time, relaxed and content. It was only until Piz opened his mouth that Veronica felt truly awake and thoroughly alert.

"I'm in love with you." He told her.

She turned to look his way. His face was covered in shadows as the moonlight streamed through the kitchen window behind him, highlighting the shape of his head and back. She couldn't think of a reply. But, she knew how simple it could be. All she had to do was say it in return and…

"You don't have to say anything." He said after her long pause. "I know how crazy I sound."

Veronica looked at him, not knowing whether she was looking into his eyes or focusing on his nose, and frowned. "You're not crazy. You just don't know how much I want to want to feel the same way…"

Piz swallowed the lump his throat, nodding as if he understood.

"I knew that if there was anyone who could take me to a place where I could forget all about Neptune…it would be you. You have to know that I care about you because of that." She said, looking up at him.

He stared down at her. The moon lit up her eyes, making it hard for him to be angry for breaking his spirits for a second consecutive time in a row tonight. What's worse, he couldn't blame her for it. A part of him always knew that he would end up sitting on top of a cold counter top, confessing his love to a girl, who, from the start, did not reciprocate his affections, let alone notice them. But, the naïve and hopeful, which he now knew to be foolish and headstrong, part of him thought that he'd be okay, that everything would be okay.

"You still have feelings for him." He stated this instead of asking her.

"It's not a good thing, believe me." She admitted.

_**To Be Continued…**_


	4. Daddy's Girl

Things to know: Before summer break started, Veronica had to choose between Piz and Oregon and Logan and Neptune. She chose Piz and his cottage in little 'ol Beaverton; after Piz broke up with Veronica, Veronica had a one night stand with Logan. She failed to mention this when she agreed to go to Oregon with Piz. Piz is convinced that Veronica has to go back to Neptune because she still loves Logan; finally, this is the last chapter of this ridiculously long story. Remember, _**flashbacks are in italics!**_

_If I haven't told you this already…this is a soap opera._

* * *

_  
Most of what I remember makes me sure/I should have stopped you from walking out the door/Do the things that you always wanted to/Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do/More than anything I want to see you go/Take a glorious bite out of the whole world_

-

It was only a matter of time before he would pay her a visit. He would hear it, her return to Neptune, through the grapevine, but it was not so much a grapevine as it was a direct and very specific set of questions employed on her best friends, resulting in awkward pauses and reluctant answers. These answers eventually led him to her home, her porch, and three anxious knocks on her door.

"I know I've been…unfair." Logan admitted to her, rubbing his forehead. He looked at her cautiously, waiting for her to respond.

"You're right." Veronica agreed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Logan nodded and inhaled deeply like he was ready to expel his latest grand speech.

"But, not entirely." She said, making him hold his thoughts for a moment. "I can't blame you for everything's that's happened."

"Okay." He said, waiting for something more because she looked like she was composing other thoughts she might want to share.

"You're right." She said and gulped a lump in her throat. "I'm going to admit it now before I change my mind. I still have feelings for you."

He took her hands in his as his lips formed a small smile. "You didn't have to travel to the middle of nowhere to figure that out."

Veronica retrieved her hands and timidly wrung them away from him. "I came back to tell you that I love you, but I don't want you. Not now, not like this."

"I don't—" He said, his smile faltering, shaking his head, refusing to understand.

"I don't want to be careless." She said. "I don't want to be _that_ person, someone who's selfish and cowardly. Piz—"

"Is not who you want to be with." He said urgently. "I _know_ you Veronica. You can't decide to be someone else because it's easier or choose a life that seems better than the one you have now. You were lying to yourself when you left. You knew, _I_ know you knew, that it seemed like a good idea at the time, finding peace or something that could take your mind away from all of this. I know things were confusing and hard, I'm probably the main reason why it was that way, but you have to know that with _him_ you aren't yourself and it's not right."

"Neither is lying." Veronica snapped back.

"You were broken up with him when we got together." Logan pointed out, frowning.

"And do you know why we broke up in the first place?" She asked, crossing her arms tightly around her front. "He saw us together. I-I've turned into someone who I don't want to be. I…I've always hated the fact that people who you trust can betray you. I mean, who can you trust when the people who claim to care about you can't be counted on?" She sighed and added, "It's why we didn't work out…"

"I promised you that it would be different this time...I would be different." Logan said, running an unsteady hand through his hair. "We could start over again."

Veronica tentatively pulled at his shirt, bringing him closer to her. She looked up at him, pleadingly. "Maybe someday…maybe one day I can believe that. But, right now, there are too many things wrong to make that promise seem real or possible."

-

_**A night in Oregon…**_

_You are the loneliest girl in the world/And I just want to make it go away_

_Wearing__ a frown on her face and a change of clean, slightly crinkled clothes, Veronica lounged over the front of an old, rusty pick-up truck. Next to her, Piz gave her a sympathetic smile and then shut his eyes as he rested his head against the truck's window, crossing his arms and letting out a deep sigh. She rolled her eyes and did not hesitant to jab him in the stomach, causing him to groan and his eyes to instantly jerk open. _

"_I have to say, you really know how to make a girl feel special." She said, turning her head so that he could see her smirking. _

"_In fact, I have been praised for my skills on more than one occasion." He grinned, stretching his arms out and then resting them underneath his head._

"_I mean, who knew you could pull off such a romantic night? The intimate company of twenty strangers, some wasted, passed out in the bathroom or throwing drinks all over me, and the fine dining of Doritos and keg stands. I was hoping you'd pull me into the bedroom while your friends cheer you on and spill more drinks on me in the process. But, sadly, tonight was only two for three." She said wistfully. _

"_Pork grind?" He said, he brandishing an open bag under her nose._

"_How could I forget about the pork grinds?" She said, glaring at him. "Another delicacy of the night."_

_Piz chuckled sheepishly. "I really didn't mean for so many people to show up. I guess the guys stopped listening after I mentioned 'coming home' and 'empty cottage'. There isn't much to do in town and…"_

_Veronica crossed her arms and raised a brow. _

"_My friends are idiots." He admitted. "Sorry."_

_Veronica patted his arm, wrapped her arm around it, and dug into the bag that he rested on his stomach. "We're in college. We're bound to endure enough drunken parties for it to become commonplace." She said, shrugged, and then popped half of a larger piece of pork grind in her mouth._

"_Still." He said. "All I wanted was for them to meet you and hopefully end the night without embarrassing themselves, but—"_

"_C'mon Piznarski. Give me some credit here. These eyes have seen things, things that are a bit more significant than your average drunken Joe." She said. _

"_I guess…"_

"_It's safe to say that I've become somewhat immune to it. Thanks, or no thanks, to Dick Casablancas." She said as if his name was enough explanation._

"_Well, the last of them have left. The so-called 'empty cottage' is finally free and at our disposal…" He said slowly, hoping his message was as clear as he was making it out to be._

"_Look at you." She said, covering her slack-jawed mouth, mocking bashfulness. "Mr. Big Shot, who do you think __**you**__ are? Are you suggesting that we move this party into the bedroom?" She nudged him a couple times near his ribs._

_Piz chuckled lightly, averting her gaze and bowing his head. "We could. Or we could take a trip down the lake and—"_

"_Talk about our feelings and carve our names into a nearby tree." She said dreamily._

"_Well—"_

"_Pull out your guitar and sing our Kumbayas 'til the sun comes up."_

_Piz shook his head and smirked. "You don't fool me, Veronica." He said. "This front that you keep putting up, I'm not buying it." He repositioned his head against his hands that cushioned it over the truck's front window pane as he fixed is sights on the night sky. She could see his smirk growing wider as her silence extended, free of any quick quips or comments of any kind. "Yup, sticks and stones." He added._

_Veronica sat up with her fists resting on either side of her hips. "Really?" She replied, lamely, glaring down at him. It bothered her that she couldn't think of anything else to say instead. He wouldn't look up at her, so she continued to glare at him. _

"_I'm not slick or smooth or anything close to what you're used to. But, whether you want to admit it or not, I think quaint, small-time Beaverton works for you too. " He explained. "That's why I let all the teasing you do slide. In fact, it's how I know I still have a chance with you. Really, your defence mechanisms are cute."_

_Veronica lay back down and grinned timidly, feeling her cheeks slightly warm up. "I need to start using harsher critique on your hair or instil doubt in your masculinity. At the very least, bring down that confidence a notch." She plotted, chewing on her bottom lip. Moments later, she excitedly shot her index finger in the air. "You drive a chick car and…and…you listen to really, __**really**__ bad music."_

_Piz grabbed the front of his shirt, imitating a pained expression on his face. "Oh!" He moaned, wincing._

_Veronica idly pulled at the hem of her shirt and as Piz's laughter subsided she decided to speak again. "You think I put up a front a lot, huh?" She said, suddenly sounding starkly different from her previous perky tone. She sounded concerned._

_Piz's gaze left the night sky to look over at her. He shrugged his shoulders. "I get it." He said simply. "Sometimes you need to protect yourself." _

"_I'm not trying to protect—"_

"_You are and it's okay." He said, smiling calmly. _

_Veronica opened her mouth to retort but suddenly and inexplicably stopped herself. She decided that he didn't know what he was talking about and that he was reading too much into things._

"_You don't have to do it around me though. Protect yourself, I mean." He said. "I don't want you to around me."_

_  
Veronica looked over at him, meeting his eyes and regretting it. She hoped he didn't notice how nervous she felt under his scrutiny, successfully exposing her for the phoney she was. She was vain to think that someone so seemingly harmless could draw insecurities and certain truths out of __**her**__. But, he managed this on his own and whenever he deliberately chose to. When she looked away he moved closer to her, moving the arm she clung to under her head and resting it around her shoulder. _

"_I really don't need to be that way around you, do I?" She said as she rested her cheek on his on shoulder, staring at his jaw line._

"_No." He said, looking down at her. He traced his fingers along her arm closest to his stomach until he met her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. "Listen, I hope you're not taking all of that too seriously, I just meant to say—"_

_  
Veronica let out a low chuckle. "Don't worry about it. You're right, you're right." She said casually._

"_Really. I didn't want you think that I was being mean about it. I mean, you know that I would never intentionally say anything mean or make you uncomfortable, because, really, I was just joking around. In fact, I—"_

"_Hey!" She yelped, grabbed his jaw, and brought him to her eye level. "You're seriously rambling, Piznarski."_

_Piz sighed and elicited another chuckle from Veronica whose hand was still holding the side of his face. "I'm always ruining the moment." He said, grimacing. _

Veronica released him and rested her head on his shoulder again. Suddenly, everything around her seemed to inflame her senses. It was the way his thumb began drawing circles in her palm, the Oregon air at night, the knowledge that somewhere in Neptune she was not perpetuating a clue, and that for a moment or two and a moment longer than two, she forgot who she was entirely. It felt incredible even if a lie that was by omission had been hanging over her head since she arrived to this point. As she saw things, there were only so many moments like these, moments that were as simple as they should be, until he realized who she really was.

"_You're not ruining anything." She told h__im. "Everything's perfect now."_

-

"This is perfect, right?" Keith Mars said, putting his arm around his daughter. "A long over due daddy-daughter time with popcorn and…couldn't you have picked a better movie?"

Veronica turned in his arm, giving him an indignant stare. "Dad, I'm in college now. I have to start being more politically aware."

"Grown men playing with puppets?" He asked, sceptically.

"I happen to think Team America is the first step towards political enlightenment." She grinned widely at him.

"Quality viewing." He grumbled dryly, dipping his hand into the popcorn bowl in his lap.

Veronica shook his head, smiling widely, pushing the play button in the direction of their DVD player. The player gave a low whirling noise before the screen began to play some trailers, ones they skipped for the movie to finally to start. Keith, throughout the movie, couldn't help but steal secret side glances her way. It wasn't his fault. She failed to explain why she decided to come home several weeks before her original return. However, it would have been an opportune time to press for a reason for her coming home when she called him to pick her up from Oregon very early in the morning two days previous. It was a moment he postponed because she seemed more concerned with coming home than with details. Even when Logan showed up at their doorstep, talking in hushed, vague references to her return, and leaving as quickly as he came, Keith didn't disturb her. All he knew was that things didn't work out with Piz and the summer she planned with him. He refrained from questioning the two of them when it was painstakingly clear, when he was close enough to examine the tension, evident in Veronica's tone over the phone, calling him at five in the morning, for himself. From the bouts of deafening pauses, Piz's one word answers, and the hand squeeze Veronica shared with Piz when she thought he was not looking, it seemed as though there was an unspoken rule against speaking about things that were already resolved and too fresh to be reminded of.

When the movie ended, Keith dared to prod. "You okay? I mean, you're okay with staying home this summer and working. The reason I ask is…Well, I thought a part of the college experience was trying the freedom thing, finding every way possible to stay out longer and farther away from home. Don't get me wrong, honey. I love that you're not as easily persuaded but—"

"I'm fine." She said with much certainty, looking into his wary eyes.

"I mean, are you going to be okay." He clarified.

"Yeah." She said slowly but with more conviction than her last reply.

"Really?" Keith wrapped his arm more tightly around her. "And it doesn't bother you that you're staying home on a Saturday night with your old man?"

Veronica turned to face him, smiling. "I couldn't think of a better place to be."

_****_

The End.


End file.
